The Feeling of Truth

                   
     Have you ever tried to explain the taste of salt? It's one of those things that no matter how hard you work on trying to explain it, words just won't do it justice. Usually after you get done trying to explain one of these things you finish off by saying, "you just need to experience it for yourself". That's how I feel trying to explain to someone how the Spirit feels, or how it works. My whole mission I tried and I tried to explain it to different investigators, but the best that I could get at with words was simply a warm, overwhelming feeling. Those words hardly scratch the surface of the true feeling the Spirit brings into your life. So, before I continue on with this let me give you a bit of advice, don't take my word on how the Spirit feels, find out for yourself.
     In my life I have had some pretty cool experiences. Once in a lifetime experiences you might say. In high school I played safety on the football team. I had the opportunity to play underneath the Friday night lights with thousands of people watching and cheering for and against me. I miss that feeling. The feeling of adrenaline pumping so fast that I could hardly breath. The rush of the excitement running through my bones as the crowd roars with screaming. And the feeling of pulling off a close game against one of my teams biggest rivals by just a point. This time in my life was a great experience. An experience that a young boy could only wish to have one day. 
     Well let me tell you something, even that doesn't beat the feeling that comes from the Spirit testifying to you truth. It could never beat the feeling of 5000 missionaries singing called to serve with the greatest amount of enthusiasm, or hearing the font filling up as someone you have come to love prepares to enter the waters of baptism because they have felt what you have felt. Nor does it top the excitement you have when someone who hasn't been active in the church for years makes the decision to start coming to church and changing their life. If it makes me feel this good, I can only imagine the feeling they feel when being baptized and surfacing from the water, or when they make that first big step and enter the church once again. 
     So, why do these things make us feel so good? The answer is this, the Spirit is testifying to you that the change you are making, or the sacrifices that you are making are good. Not only good, but true. It is testifying that you are following the example of Jesus Christ, and that you are making your Heavenly Father proud. I don't know about you, but I want to feel the Spirit in my life always. I'm working on it, I'm not perfect, nor will I be perfect in this life. But as I strive to do the things that allow the Spirit into my life I will feel it more often. Not only will I feel it more often, but without even realizing it, I am becoming changed over time till sometime in the life to come, I reach perfection as our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ would have me reach. We can all have this. We are promised this. "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in Heaven  is perfect". This isn't just fluff, or an impossible goal. It's the destination our Heavenly Father KNOWS that we can reach! 
    With all this being said, let's all make a goal today. That goal is this, do whatever you need to do to feel the Spirit. If that means changing things right now, then do it. If you are feeling the Spirit already, then endure to the end. And if you're not sure what you need to do or how you need to do it, then get on your knees and ask God. He knows, and He will tell you. I testify with all my heart that God is real. I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. And I know that the Spirit testifies truth.

Can Ye Feel so Now?

     As I'm sure most of you are aware, missionaries have a lot of time to study in that two years. It took me a little while to get used to it, but I found personal study time to be one of my favorite things. I learned so much in that precious space of time each and every day. Early on in my mission as I was studying, I came across a scripture in the Book of Mormon that effected not only my mission, but is continuing to effect my life now. In fact, during my entire mission from that point on I took a clip of that scripture and stuck it next to my study desk where I could see it everyday. The words said, "Can ye feel so now?', taken from Alma chapter 5, verse 26. All together the scripture reads this, "And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?". 
      I have come to the realization that conversion is a daily thing. You can't just be converted one day, and then not have to work on it ever again. If that was the case, the church would not have as much adversity as it does today. So many things can occur in our lives that can take us off the path that we need to be on. The adversary himself is working that much harder on those who have received some kind of spiritual witness. We get caught up with things such as work, momentary lusts, becoming offended, separation from the gospel, and so many more things that we take our eyes off the prize and fall away from our potential.  
      I like this scripture because it nails it right on the head. Without forcefully telling us to do something, Alma makes it plain as to what we need to do. In my words, this is what Alma said..... You have felt the Spirit in your life. You know the gospel is true. That feeling was good wasn't it? You want to feel that way again don't you? You can! Bring back those good habits that you had back then, do the things that will invite that feeling into your life again. It's not too late to get back on the path of righteousness. 
       No matter how long it has been, no matter how deep you feel you have dug your hole, just know that Christ can pick us up from wherever we stand. We just need to give him permission. We need to allow him to guide and direct our paths. The atonement reaches to even the furthest away. 
     As I strive to win the daily battle of conversion against the adversary, I invite you to do the same thing. Ask yourself daily, "Can I feel so now?". If you can't, figure out how you can. If you can, then pursue and endure each day of your life. If you're not sure if you want to feel so now, well let me set you straight, you do want to feel so now! The greatest and most lasting joy you will ever feel is through following the example of Jesus Christ and living the gospel in your life. I testify that this is true. 

Bad to Good to Better

     Has it ever occurred to you how deep the Atonement actually is? Have you ever even tried to comprehend it? The short answer to the definition of the Atonement is this, Jesus Christ sacrificed for the sins and the sorrows of the world. He took upon him every trial and challenge that we have and will ever go through. Why did he do this you might ask. Because he loves us. He and our Father in heaven knew that the only way for us to return again to be with them was by redemption. Someone had to pay the price for our mistakes. Justice must be fulfilled, but mercy could be obtained so long as the price was paid completely.
      So why should the Atonement be remembered and applied daily? Yes, we should be thankful, but more than that there is a power behind it. The Atonement not only has a purifying power, but also an enabling power. Through it we can change. Bad men can become good, and good men can become better. It's our access to the ultimate destination of perfection that we are all striving for. If we work on applying the Atonement each day, we will be comforted through the good times and the bad, as well as becoming a changed people.
      My whole life, it never worked out in my head. I couldn't understand how to apply my belief into my life. I always saw it as two separate things. Church life, and regular day life. After 20 years of life I finally got it. I can now see that God cares about all aspects of my life. Jesus Christ didn't just Atone for all things that had to do with church, he atoned for ALL things. That being said, I can look to him for ALL things. He's felt the stress of school, he knows the heartaches that come from friends and family, and he truly cares about each detail of our lives.
      So how can we access the atonement. How do we call upon it each and every day of our lives? I'm sure there are many ways this can be done, but let me tell you what I have learned. It first starts with a willing heart. Are you willing to give up who you have been in order to become who God knows you can be, or is your pride stopping you from achieving change? After willingness comes dedication. To what extent will you strive for change? Are you willing to stand firm when things seem to be falling apart? Third comes action. One good action at a time will over time change our behavior and our character. Next, (which should also be first) you must have faith in God and in his Son, Jesus Christ. Believe that they will be there to help you along the way. And last, endure to the end. It's never "over". You must always strive to be better than you were yesterday. As we strive to do our best, that's when the atonement is accessed.
      Whoever you are, wherever you are, and whatever your circumstances may be, just know that it is never impossible. And in the words of Elder Holland, "There is still time, so long as the master of the vineyard says so". Have faith in God for he has faith in you.

You Could Be the Answer

       "God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs". Has anybody else noticed that as well. God works through each and every one of us to help each other out. I have been on both ends of that spectrum as well. 
        Many of you may have never guessed it, but I struggled through high school. I was bullied fairly often, people only wanted to hang around me so that I could become the laughing stalk of all their jokes, and for the most part it seemed I could never keep a group of friends for longer than a few weeks or months. I guessed you could say I was brought down pretty low in this part of my life. Going to school was a struggle for me each day. I thought of so many different excuses as to why I shouldn't go to school just to avoid everybody. Though during this span of time I don't specifically remember kneeling down and offering up a prayer of help to my Heavenly Father, I knew that he was listening to what my heart was yearning for, that was, a real friend. Out of the blue one day at school I received just that. This person brought me in under their wing and from then on I knew that I could look to him as a true friend. The timing was brilliant. It's like he knew what I was thinking even though I never told anyone about how I felt inside. God truly did bless my life through another.
       I also had the opportunity to see this miracle from the other side of the spectrum. On my mission we had the chance to help this lady who had literally lost everything. It was no irony that we ran into her either. Out of the blue we got a call from one of our previous investigators, and he wanted us to come by and visit with him for a little while. We went over there to find that he wasn't home. Feeling a little angered by the fact that he stood us up we started walking out of this apartment complex as if we had just wasted an hour of our day. All of the sudden some lady comes out of her apartment door crying uncontrollably. We came to find out quickly that her life was falling apart. Her husband had passed away a week earlier, she just found out that her daughter passed away a few days ago as well, and now they were kicking her out of her apartment and she only had three days to get everything out. Let me add that she had nowhere to go. We called everyone that we knew to come and help her get her stuff all packed up and get her help and the response of others was in itself a miracle. Long story short, we found her a temporary place to stay, we got her all packed up and out of the apartment, and now she had herself a handful of new friends. She was so overwhelmed with emotion that she continued to cry and thank us for almost 5 minutes straight. My heart was filled with joy as I got to be an answer to someone's desperate prayer.
       With all of this being shared my encouragement to you is this, be the answer to someone's prayers today. Lend out a helping hand, smile and say hello to someone, love unconditionally. You never know what others are going through, and how God is trying to help them. Pay it forward, because all of us know that somewhere down the road we will find ourselves in a similar position. God is real, he is there, and he is listening to us fully. 

He Hears You

     There have been so many times in my life where I have been blessed by the power of prayer. Many times it has been a feeling of comfort and courage, and other times it has come with an actual answer to my plea for help. I can honestly and boldly say that I have a firm testimony in the power of prayer. 

     I remember one instance on my mission quite vividly of a prayer being answered, and through that my testimony strengthened quite drastically. I was brand new into one of my areas, still a fairly new missionary. I was put into a bike area (which was rough), and sent off to work with one of my companions. It was getting late into the evening, it was dark, I was tired, and before I knew it my companion was out of sight from me. I had no idea where I was at, no phone, and for the first time in 6 months I was literally alone. Hopeful in thinking my companion would at some point in time turn around and find me, I sat down and waited. Ten minutes went by, then 20, then 30 minutes. I was truly terrified. I realized that I was going to need to do something in order to fix my situation, so I took action. I got down on my knees and said a short, but most sincere prayer I think I have ever said. "Heavenly Father, I'm lost and I need help. Please help me". I got up and started heading towards the road to see if I could find my companion. Just in that moment, across the street from me, I saw him fly by on his bike, and after a minute or two I was able to stop him and was reunited with my companion once again. Some might call it coincidence, but I know better than that. There is no way the timing could have been that perfect if it was all just coincidental. 

     Don't let me get your hopes up, not all the time are prayers answered like this. In fact, that's where my thoughts are going to today. I've thought about the trying moments that I have had in my life, and the prayer of help that I had offered up to God at those times as well. Many of those times God didn't answer right away, or it didn't even seem like He answered at all. I had to struggle through those times in what seemed like it was all by myself. I've thought about these trials from where I stand now, and I realize that God was there all along. I realize that if God would have stepped in when I "needed" Him, then I would not have had the growing experience that I had. I would not be the Jacob I am today.

     God is not too busy to hear what we have to say, although maybe we are the ones that are a little too busy or impatient to hear what He has to say. My plea to each and every one of you is this, when you feel like you have done all you can and you can't push any further, when you have knelt down on your knees and talked with God and yet you feel you haven't received an answer, then get on your feet and keep pushing through. God hears your prayers, He knows your limits, and what you can handle. Be of good cheer, God is always with you!

What is My Hope in?

     Today I have been inspired to take action and express my thoughts and feelings to whoever is willing and wanting to hear them. The question that sparked this for me came in a church meeting and has been on my mind for a little while. That question is this, "What is my hope in?". Think to yourselves this question as I carry on with my thoughts. 
    As I contemplated the depth of this question, my mind automatically reverted back to my mission days (as everything tends to revert back to). I thought about how hard each and every day was for that two years, how much rejection and ridicule I recieved, and the discouragement that followed after almost every door that we approached. So many times I found myself on my knees asking God why I was even out there and why I am failing not only me and my family, but also God himself. It wasn't until just a little while ago when I was reading something a sister missionary wrote in her blog that summed it all up for me. She said that 99% of your mission is hard work, sweat, tears, discouragement, failure, rejection and so much more. But she also said this, 1% of that two years is pure joy, and yet that 1% seems to make up for 99% of everything else bad and hard that happens. This statement is so true. That pure joy that is spoken of comes from the love of Christ. It comes from accepting him and doing all that we can to follow him. 
     So, why do I bring this up you might ask? This is where my hope is. This is my answer to the question that was asked previously. My hope is in that 1% of pure joy that follows all trials and tribulations. Though life may be hard sometimes, and by sometimes I mean 99% of the time! I know that the 1% is worth it in the end and the joy that we experience will make up for everything else. 
I hope to be able to express my personal joys that come in life with all of you, and hope that they may come as an uplifting reminder that God is aware and blessing all of us, we just need to open our eyes and see what He sees.